How to Handle Your Friends Making More Money Than You

Waiting for payday can feel like an eternity. Whether it’s at the end of the month or week, it’s a date circled in red on everyone’s calendar. But as we grow older and our friends pursue different careers with varying salaries, payday can also bring a new layer of tension to friendships. Some friends might casually mention their generous boss or their latest pay raise, while others in the group may quietly grapple with dissatisfaction over their own earnings. Here’s how to gracefully manage pay disparities within your friendships.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

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You can’t quite put your finger on why, but there’s that one friend who leaves you feeling embarrassed after every hangout. Maybe it’s the pressure to order the same pricey cocktail, or the way conversations drift toward their lavish work perks, courtesy of their high-paying job. The root of this discomfort often lies in comparison—something that can easily erode your satisfaction with your own career.

As we age, income gaps naturally widen, and the carefree days of spending your entire pay check on tequila shots and concert tickets transform from a youthful rite of passage to something more fraught. In a society obsessed with side hustles and career transitions, it’s easy to feel like there’s always a better-paying job just around the corner. Recognizing that everyone’s financial journey is unique—shaped by their job, location, and personal life—is key. Some are saddled with student debt, while others enjoy the cushion of financial support from family. When you catch yourself in the comparison trap, remind yourself of these differences before spiralling into financial despair.

Don’t Shy Away From Awkward Conversations

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It’s tempting to overspend in an effort to keep up with wealthier friends, but this can lead to unnecessary financial stress. That’s why it’s crucial to have open, honest conversations with those you trust. Even the highest earners experience financial fluctuations throughout their careers, and fears of being judged by your friends for not earning enough can often be alleviated by discussing your concerns.

It may appear that the biggest earner in your friendship group is living la vida loca, but there may be financial setbacks brewing under the surface which you may not be aware of. Instead of constantly fearing hang-outs that demand heavy splurges and fearing group chats called ‘Dubai 2024’, openly discussing how money affects your friendship is a smart route to take.  If there’s an undercurrent of competition that’s keeping you from speaking up, that’s a conversation worth having, too.

Feeling like you are missing out and disappointing those around you is a natural attitude to saying no to plans when financially burdened, but your relationship with finances is a life-long one. Real friends will be willing to adjust plans or hit pause until you have more financial flexibility. While it might lead to temporary disappointment, those same friends will likely find themselves in your shoes one day, facing their own financial challenges. Without openness, resentment can fester, potentially manifesting as jealousy.

Money Changes Friendships – It is a Fact of Life

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You might be perfectly happy with your career, yet still feel a twinge of inadequacy among friends working in high-paying industries. It’s essential to stay grounded by recognising that those admirable salaries often come from jobs that might not appeal to you.

Focusing on doing what you love, rather than what pays the most, is crucial—especially in a world that’s increasingly driven by the pursuit of wealth. We’re constantly bombarded with messages about the money we could be making, yet it’s important to find contentment in your current role. Financial comparison is often fueled by a society obsessed with wealth, but don’t let it steal your present joy. Planning for a better future is important, but it shouldn’t overshadow the satisfaction you find in your career today.

Having a birds-eye view of your career helps. There will be highs and lows, and these may contrast with your friend’s seemingly constant financial ‘highs,’ but this is normal. Keeping an eye on the bigger picture will help you maintain a healthier relationship with your finances and foster friendships free from comparison